I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize