I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
