If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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