Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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