I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize