Yo dont text me then not text me
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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