i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
