**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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