Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
