this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize