don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Randomize
