That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
