About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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