hotel room ftw
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
