So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
