Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
