U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I pour the whiskey from now on
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
