He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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