Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
