when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
4 words: hood of his car
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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