you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
