I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Life is so much better after having sex.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
