Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
