omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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