i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
