Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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