As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
