Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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