Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
