Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
