Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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