u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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