I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
