we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize