The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize