There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize