He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
