Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
