Can Purell be used as lube?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
