if you like me you must not know who I am
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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