She is in my trunk
farters have to be the big spoon...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
