DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
