you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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