i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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