i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize