Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
