Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
