Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize