Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
