This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
