i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i think we sleep fucked last night...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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