we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
