So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
