We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
