I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
