My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
