It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Randomize
